Marshall, Marshall, Marshall. Probably my most dynamic, and also most trying child. I don't know that it is fair to have your first child be your most difficult, but maybe that makes parenting all the rest of the children easier. Might as well get the hard one out of the way first! Or maybe he is the hardest because he is the oldest and we have no idea what in the heck we are doing. But I am fairly certain I was my parents' easiest child...so that theory cannot be true. ;)
There is so much good in Marshall. I see it, and I literally pray every day that he sees it too.
At the core of Marshall is a sweet, tender, and sensitive little boy. He has such a soft heart. Every morning when he wakes up, he scoops up his two blankets, usually one or two stuffed animals, a book, and heads downstairs. When we tuck him in at night he is literally buried under his sheet, comforter, two blankets, and about 10-15 stuffed animals...even when he complains of being too hot.
At the age of eight he can still be a snuggler. Usually at church he is leaning his head against Richard, and when Richard is working, despite three other girls clamoring for my attention, Marshall is leaning on me. During the week, Marshall sets his alarm for 6:15 so he can see Richard before he leaves for work at 6:30. The girls sleep in quite a bit longer than that so usually Marshall and I have some good time together in the mornings, just the two of us. After Richard leaves, he spends his time reading, and sometimes I am finishing a workout, but we usually find some time to sit on the couch together and he lets me rub his hair while he reads.
Marshall continues to be a sponge when it comes to learning things. He has so many questions, most of them fact based, and loves looking up the answers (something I never enjoyed doing as a child!). He wants to know what the tallest building is, what was the deadliest hurricane, he wants to know about galaxies and black holes, the list goes on and on and on. He is currently reading a book on Alaska and natural disasters and loves learning from their pages.
Speaking of reading, Marshall has now read all seven Harry Potter books. He plowed through those things and loved them. His favorites being number four and number seven. He also loves the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series and the Nathan Hale books. Each night Richard reads Diary of a Wimpy Kid to Marshall (he has the entire series and has read them multiple times) and then Marshall reads to me from Nathan Hale. Marshall reading to me was completely his idea that he formulated for two reasons: 1) I need to know more about history and 2) anytime I sit down to read I fall asleep. His plan is to solve both of these predicaments by reading to me, and I would say its working.
Earlier in the year Marshall went through a phase of just watching football highlight videos on YouTube. He would play them on the TV, and then basically play his own football game in the family room. This meant no one else could use the family room because it meant Marshall would probably slide/fall/or tackle them. He has mostly moved on from those videos now and is currently loving Studio C. All the kids love it actually. It is fun to watch with them because they laugh at the obvious humor and I laugh at them and the more nuanced humor. Good, clean fun for everyone.
I am thrilled to report that Marshall finally has two good friends. A literal answer to my prayers. One friend is our neighbor, Tate. Tate is only seven and in first grade, but we carpool with him and he has been so good with Marshall. Tate is polite and kind and has lived here for a while so he knows all the neighborhood kids. When the weather warmed up in February, he started taking Marshall with him to the neighborhood park where the kids would meet up after school to play games. I love Tate. The other friend is Cooper. Cooper is the sweetest kid and he is in Marshall's school class. Cooper and Marshall play wall ball together every single recess. Every Friday when they sell beef jerky at school, Cooper helps Marshall get some because Marshall is too nervous. We had Cooper over for the first time in March and that first play date started a slew of play dates.
With these friends comes some new independence for Marshall, and also letting some control go on my end. The first time Tate invited Marshall to the park (I can see part of this park from my bathroom window!) I about died of anxiety and worry while he was gone. Just yesterday Marshall and Tate walked to school for the first time. I was walking to school, and crossing a major street, in first grade, so I suppose its okay if my second grader does the same.
Back in the fall Marshall played flag football. His timidity just about killed me, but he had a good time and his team ended up making it all the way to the championship game. He did the Junior Jazz instructional league this winter and loved it. It was so fun to watch him play. He is more in his element with basketball. This spring he is playing soccer, which started a bit rough, but it is getting better. His team lacks any ability to follow the ball, his coach has no idea what he is doing, and Marshall doesn't know any of the boys, so he is shy. But he has made good progress each game and that has been fun to see. I love watching him do things he loves.
Moving to Utah has been hard on Marshall. He desperately misses Eisenhower (school here has not been academically challenging), he misses his friends, and he also desperately wants a brother. Things really came to a head with Marshall the middle of February. He spent the majority of his days angry and his happiness was so fleeting. I walked on egg shells when he was around, never knowing what might set off a torrential downward spiral that was likely to span hours. It was exhausting. Once we reached that point I felt so defeated and absolutely helpless. I knew that he deserved better than his current state of misery, and the other five of us living under the same roof deserved more happiness as well. I started down a path of getting Marshall some professional help. It took several weeks to get things arranged with our insurance, but we were set up with a child play therapist, named Cody, and he has been amazing. It has been so good for Marshall to be accountable to someone other than me and Richard. Cody has taught Marshall a lot, and in turn, I have learned so much as well. We are working on identifying feelings, understanding that we can feel mad, but it is not okay to hurt people or be disrespectful. We are learning what things calm us down and how to decide to calm down, even when we are fuming. We are learning about the emotional side of our brain and our logical side and how to wake up the logical side when the emotional brain wants to take control. Marshall has made exceptional progress since we started seeing Cody in March. His main emotion now is happy, his outbursts are fewer and shorter lived, and Richard and I are learning how to better approach him as well. I am so glad we made this decision, and I am even more glad for the conscious changes Marshall has chosen to make. It is so commendable.
Richard and I love spending time with Marshall. He is the greatest conversationalist and a pure delight to be with one on one. We are so thankful to have him in our family!
