My Grandpa Toney passed away on Sunday, March 3rd, at his home, with several family members by his side and my Grandma holding his hand.
My Grandpa was born and raised in Michigan. He was the son of a farmer, and raised his own family, of five children, on a dairy farm. My grandparents joined the Church when my dad was a little boy. My grandparents worked hard to balance their demands as parents to five children, life on a dairy farm, workers in a factory, and their religious obligations. They raised five wonderful children, who went on to marry five wonderful people, and it warms my heart every time I think of the posterity that has come from my grandparents and their conscious, good choices.
My Grandpa Toney was a quiet man, and just got quieter the older he got. Because I was born and raised in Utah, I didn't have a lot of time with my grandparents while I was growing up. My parents tried to get us all out to Michigan about every other year, and those are some of my fondest childhood memories. My grandparents sold their farm when my Dad was on his mission and they bought a home in South Haven. I loved this home for two reasons: 1) it had a pool 2) at the end of the house, overlooking the pool, was a huge room that was filled with toys and books and games. I had a lot of cousins who lived back there, and so our summer visits were filled with swimming, playing with cousins, swimming again, eating loads of food (my grandma loves to make and eat great food) and swimming some more. It seemed I lived in my swimming suit when we would go back there in the summertime.
When I was in 5th grade we spent Thanksgiving in Michigan and when I was in 9th grade we spent Christmas out there as well. That Christmas the entire Toney family was together, with the exception of I believe two cousins who were on missions. Growing up, those were hands down my two favorite holiday celebrations. Just the excitement of traveling for a holiday was a novelty! But I loved being in such a huge family group for a holiday celebration. I remember traveling to Al and Joy's for Thanksgiving dinner (my Dad's aunt and uncle). I remember it being so warm that the guys played football outside. I remember nightly games of mafia organized by my cousin Shawna when we were there for Christmas. I remember our gift exchange and how happy that was.
I remember that one year, my Grandpa Toney called me on my birthday. I think I was probably turning 12 or 13. I was tickled to receive a phone call from him on the evening of my birthday. It was a brief conversation, but it still made my heart soar.
When I was in 5th grade we spent Thanksgiving in Michigan and when I was in 9th grade we spent Christmas out there as well. That Christmas the entire Toney family was together, with the exception of I believe two cousins who were on missions. Growing up, those were hands down my two favorite holiday celebrations. Just the excitement of traveling for a holiday was a novelty! But I loved being in such a huge family group for a holiday celebration. I remember traveling to Al and Joy's for Thanksgiving dinner (my Dad's aunt and uncle). I remember it being so warm that the guys played football outside. I remember nightly games of mafia organized by my cousin Shawna when we were there for Christmas. I remember our gift exchange and how happy that was.
I remember that one year, my Grandpa Toney called me on my birthday. I think I was probably turning 12 or 13. I was tickled to receive a phone call from him on the evening of my birthday. It was a brief conversation, but it still made my heart soar.
My Grandpa loved John Deere tractors and loved fishing on Lake Michigan in his boat. I spent some time on his boat during our summer visits with cousins and uncles, and of course, my grandpa. One vivid memory I have, and this happened when I was seven, was on the boat, in the middle of Lake Michigan. One of my younger cousins, who was a difficult child, was misbehaving. Finally, my Grandpa had had enough, and picked this cousin up by this arms and dunked him in the lake! He never let go, but my cousin was not happy, and my Grandpa told him he couldn't come back in the boat until he promised to be good. Lake Michigan is rarely a warm lake, and so you can imagine that my cousin changed his ways pretty quickly. This memory as a seven year old is seared into my mind. :)
Almost every time I visited my grandparents as an adult, with my own kids in tow, Marshall would take a turn sitting up on Grandpa Toney's big John Deere tractor. My Grandma also had lots of tractor toys for the great-grandkids to play with. Marshall still remembers them!
Sometimes my grandparents would drive out from Michigan to visit us in Utah. I loved their visits. It was so fun to have grandparents visiting! When I was a senior in high school they came out for a visit. They were able to attend my choir concert; I loved having them there.
When we moved to Wisconsin I was able to spend more time at my grandparents' home. I was actually not great at getting out there my first couple of years (Chicago traffic had scarred me), but I got better at it and made a trip out at least once a year, if not twice. The first time I went out to visit them, Marshall was eight months old. I have a memory from one of my early visits there. My Grandpa was still able to drive and go to church. I remember waiting and waiting and waiting to leave church, but my Grandpa just kept talking and talking and talking to people...I was shocked!
Another memory happened at a later visit. I still just had Marshall with me, but he was napping in the pack and play. My Grandma wanted me to take her to the store. I was a tad nervous to leave Marshall with just my Grandpa in case Marshall woke up, but my Grandma assured me everything would be fine. I was worried the whole time I was gone, and anxiously walked in the front door when we got back to their house. There was my Grandpa, sitting in his favorite chair, with Marshall on his lap. Marshall was as happy as could be and I was relieved to see that all was well so I snapped a picture. :)
The last trip we took to Michigan before we moved to Utah was in January 2016. This was only Richard's second trip out there with me, but I got him to come along for this one. We spent a weekend there and had a wonderful time. Words to describe trips to Michigan would be love, fun, food, laughter, games, relaxed, and acceptance. My girls, as usual, had a ball playing Barbies (Rachel still talks about these Barbies and she was 2!) and Marshall had fun playing with the tractors. My aunts, uncles, and cousins are also so good with kids and would just start playing with them. As we left to drive home on that Sunday afternoon, I knew that would be the last time I would see my Grandpa Toney alive. I made sure to tell him I loved him as I hugged him good-bye. I will always have happy memories of him waving hello or good-bye to my kids on our visits. His face would get more animated, his blue eyes would perk up and get a little bit bigger, and his big Grandpa Toney hand would do a little floppy wave.
My Grandpa Toney was a wise, strong, and kind man. I am glad my three older kids have some memories of him. I am grateful for all the treasured memories I have of him. He left a great legacy of faith, consistency, and hard work. Love you Grandpa.
When we moved to Wisconsin I was able to spend more time at my grandparents' home. I was actually not great at getting out there my first couple of years (Chicago traffic had scarred me), but I got better at it and made a trip out at least once a year, if not twice. The first time I went out to visit them, Marshall was eight months old. I have a memory from one of my early visits there. My Grandpa was still able to drive and go to church. I remember waiting and waiting and waiting to leave church, but my Grandpa just kept talking and talking and talking to people...I was shocked!
Another memory happened at a later visit. I still just had Marshall with me, but he was napping in the pack and play. My Grandma wanted me to take her to the store. I was a tad nervous to leave Marshall with just my Grandpa in case Marshall woke up, but my Grandma assured me everything would be fine. I was worried the whole time I was gone, and anxiously walked in the front door when we got back to their house. There was my Grandpa, sitting in his favorite chair, with Marshall on his lap. Marshall was as happy as could be and I was relieved to see that all was well so I snapped a picture. :)
The last trip we took to Michigan before we moved to Utah was in January 2016. This was only Richard's second trip out there with me, but I got him to come along for this one. We spent a weekend there and had a wonderful time. Words to describe trips to Michigan would be love, fun, food, laughter, games, relaxed, and acceptance. My girls, as usual, had a ball playing Barbies (Rachel still talks about these Barbies and she was 2!) and Marshall had fun playing with the tractors. My aunts, uncles, and cousins are also so good with kids and would just start playing with them. As we left to drive home on that Sunday afternoon, I knew that would be the last time I would see my Grandpa Toney alive. I made sure to tell him I loved him as I hugged him good-bye. I will always have happy memories of him waving hello or good-bye to my kids on our visits. His face would get more animated, his blue eyes would perk up and get a little bit bigger, and his big Grandpa Toney hand would do a little floppy wave.
My Grandpa Toney was a wise, strong, and kind man. I am glad my three older kids have some memories of him. I am grateful for all the treasured memories I have of him. He left a great legacy of faith, consistency, and hard work. Love you Grandpa.
